This just in

Mar 1, 2004 12:00 PM, COMPILED BY PAUL ROTHMAN

White House Spiderman needs “Presidential help”

A man yelling “I'm a victim of terrorism and I need the President's help” jumped a White House fence and ran across the North Lawn before being caught and detained by Secret Service officers.

Human piñata not amused

Police say a would-be burglar got stuck trying to bypass a Cleveland grocery store's alarm system by breaking in through the vents over a kitchen stove. After discovering the man hanging from the ceiling and shouting for help, the store owner called police, who cut the vent apart to free the man. The suspect said he was stuck for four or five hours.

Practical tip: Don't store guns and bullets in an oven

A Howard, Wis., man put three handguns and some bullets in an oven “for safe keeping” before leaving on a vacation, but when the man and his wife returned, the wife turned on the oven to prepare dinner and the bullets ignited. The couple hid behind a refigerator and were not hurt.

Cops and gambling: A terrible mix

A bet between two police officers in Porterdale, Ga., to see which one could issue the most traffic tickets was stopped by a judge who overheard the apparent winner talking about it. Both officers were asked to resign.

Mr. Curator, are you sure you need that?

The former Soviet Union's oldest train was stolen for scrap metal after several men tricked guards at a museum in eastern Ukraine. The thieves used forged documents to convince guards they had to move the locomotive, which dates back to 1924.

Maybe they were extras

Twenty-one people were arrested for trying to sneak into the 76th annual Academy Awards show at the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood. Two of the individuals were apprehended in a backstage loading dock area carrying forged badges.

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