Rounding Up The Usual Suspects

Jul 1, 2003 12:00 PM, LARRY ANDERSON, Editor

They will each be delayed by security personnel if they try to get on an airplane.

Many more people will be delayed for the same reason, including five college professors and at least one dean, a certain basketball player, a rap video director, a chef, and even the son of Ozzie and Harriet.

All of these people have the misfortune of falling under inexplicable suspicion of terrorism by our government and airports.

All these people have committed the offense of having the name David Nelson.

It's a name that raises red flags in security circles and can get you searched at the drop of a boarding pass.

Is there a reason the Chicago artist named David Nelson should be stopped for an additional search at the airport? What about Mr. Nelson, the former member of the New Riders of the Purple Sage? Or even the Oregon Senate Majority Leader? Do these people know where Osama bin Laden is? Do they harbor ill-will toward our free society? Does their calm, everyday demeanor conceal darker motives?

Apparently, only our government knows for sure.

David Nelson, please exit the plane.” That's what the intercom blurted out when one of the aforementioned Mr. Nelsons was minding his own business waiting to depart on a New York-bound airplane. The Los Angeles Daily News reported that, within minutes, he was surrounded by FBI agents, was having his bags searched (again), and was being asked to remove his shoes (again).

In Oregon, an additional 18 David Nelsons complained to the Oregonian newspaper about similar incidents.

Explanations for the peculiar scrutiny are unclear and surrounded by disagreement and mutual finger-pointing. Maybe it's a computer glitch. Maybe it's the airlines' fault. Maybe the government has a secret list of names it targets for additional scrutiny — or maybe not. Maybe it's related to CAPPS, the scoring system that analyzes multiple factors to determine who should be searched.

Is it a cyber-mistake, or should we not trust people named David Nelson?

What would Ozzie think? Thankfully, the long-dead Mr. Nelson (the elder) has been spared any knowledge of suspicion falling on his first-born son. One wonders if the soft-spoken TV star known for puttering around the house in his cardigan sweater could have appreciated the absurdity of this 2003-era situation?

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